holy crap, I'm pregnant! - Learning

Yes there is a baby and yes this blog will continue! -- Just need some sleep first...

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Tue, 08 Jul 2008 11:23:51 -0600

Hi!

I recently recieved a comment asking about the status of the blog and the baby. I replied — at length — and then realised I should just post the reply here!

Here is what I wrote:

I haven’t forgotten about the blog, and I probably should have made some post stating as much by now — but being a Dad is extremely time consuming! Who would have thought? :P I am so busy between baby and work and people constantly coming by and just trying to get some bloody REST that I haven’t had the time to even consider writing.

Well, that’s not true. I considered it.

I just spent all my spare moments vegetating…

Never fear! I will be back soon!! The steady stream of visitors has finally lulled!!!!

Look for several posts in the near future detailing the trials and tribulations and overt freakouts that followed the last post. Be here for the emotional displays! Be here for the tons and TONS of baby pics that I STILL CAN’T STOP TAKING!! Be here for the lack… of… sleep……….. !

And thanks to Kae for kicking me in the ass about this!

Don't try this at home, kids...

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Wed, 30 Apr 2008 10:17:47 -0600

Seriously — trying to write a blog post in the latter stages of pregnancy is… nuts. Oh I’m sure there is time. Really. But I am so spun about, freaked out, excited, anxious, happy, in awe and otherwise generally wiggin’, that when I get a minute to do something, that minute is occupied by me staring at the TV, or simply staring at the wall, the ceiling, or a book.

Or sleeping.

There has been lots of sleeping lately. I am not usually a nap person — and I am a night person to boot — once I’m up, I’m up. Saturday afternoon, though, I passed out, sitting up, for about 2 and a half hours. And I’m not sick — this time.

Robin has been especially anxious lately as well — but she has more right to it than me.

She is cramping, the baby is pummelling her from the inside (usually her bladder, poor girl), her hips are hurting, moving about can be difficult, and she is generally uncomfortable all the time. Let’s not forget the fact that she is just a teensy bit worried about pushing a 6-10 pound giant out of her body. Imagine sweating out a rock if you need assistance with the concept.

Ow.

So yeah, she’s a bit freaked out right now.

And just to make things… interesting…. we have upped the stakes in this game a bit.

We are moving.

Tomorrow.

Yes, you heard me right. Or read me… whatever.

Why are we moving, you ask? Are we crazy, you ask? Well, the answer the second question is: yes, probably. The first… wellllll, we have two dogs. And we rent. And it is getting harder and harder to find dog-friendly places in this city, so, when we found one, randomly (and by randomly, I mean through Robin’s obsessive trolling of Craigslist), we decided that we should jump on it now, rather than in July like we planned.

I figure the baby will start things off being a punk — and will come on moving day.

Don’t try this at home, kids.

I’m not kidding, we could have this baby any day now. Any time… As a matter of fact, Robin could call me while writing this post and tell me to get my ass home.

*waits*

…

…..

Well. It could happen!

We have been cocked, loaded, and ready to fire for a week and a half now. Robin and I discovered that, while a due date for pregnancy is set at about 40 weeks, the actual full term for the baby’s development is 38 weeks. we are now 39 and a half. So yeah. any day now…

And we’re not even done packing yet!!!

Pregnancy is beautiful... really!!

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:24:51 -0600

If I sound like I’m trying to convince myself, it’s because, sometimes, I really am. Yes pregnancy and the creation of a new life is a beautiful and wonderous thing. A glowing pregnant lady can be cute, pretty, sexy, all of those things. It’s the… other stuff… the…… byproducts, if you will, of this miracle that are, well… disgusting.

And it only gets worse as the pregnancy goes on.

In the beginning, it’s just gas. And puke, if you are one of the unlucky ones to get “morning” sickness. Then there’s more gas. Vaginal discharge. And more gas… And more — well, let’s just say that the gas never stops. It just keeps surfacing in weird and wonderful ways. It is, at the very least, an endless source of entertainment. For all you guys out there who have girls that like to pretend that there body is above gas and therefore they do not fart like us lowly men, well… get ‘em pregnant. Then fart jokes may once again, abound. But watch yourselves, fellows!!! Mood swings while pregnant are nothing to shake a stick at. You don’t want an angry pregnant woman chasing you down the street! She will catch you… eventually. Remember! They sleep less and less as it goes on — and they “sleep” right beside you…

But I digress…

Gas is fun nastiness. Ever heard of a mucus plug? Doesn’t that just sound….. appetizing? No, you don’t eat it you silly people! It is just an expression. It’s the afterbirth that some people eat. You heard me! I’m not knocking people’s practices — people are free to do whatever they want, no matter how gross, as long as it doesn’t hurt anybody… and eating the afterbirth doesn’t hurt anybody. But ewww!!!! And I have a hard time believing that wasn’t your first reaction as well…

So mucus plug… this is a relatively dense plug of mucus that seals the cervix to keep out bacteria and the like. It’s a good thing. Then, late in the pregnancy, the cervix thins and opens — and the mucus plug falls into the toilet in a large mucus-y, often brown/pink/red and bloody mass. Plop. Sometimes it comes out in bits first, and some women don’t notice it coming out at all — but it’s there! When it finally does come out, it is a good indication of a week or less to go before the baby burrows its way out. They don’t show that stuff in the movies!! As a matter of fact, Robin and I had never even really heard of a mucus plug at all until we stumbled upon it doing a little research. What a wonderfully disgusting surprise!

There are a lot of things about pregnancy that they hide from you in Hollywood… I mean, did you know that, after all that time and trouble and pushing, the baby comes out — and you think you’re done, ladies? Think again! You have to push some more and give birth again! To the placenta. The afterbirth. Ok, well, you might have known that… but I bet you didn’t know that some people eat it!!! At least some of you didn’t know that… be honest!!

And ew!!!!

And don’t kid yourselves, people! When the water breaks and floods all over everything… That’s not water.

Nope.

Not water….

So yeah…. pregnancy — as well as all other bodily functions — it’s yucky!

Boys, Girls, and Crazy Monkey Babies...

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Wed, 26 Mar 2008 11:19:00 -0600

The other day, Robin and a friend (who is also pregnant) were messaging each other on Facebook. Robin had mentioned she had heartburn, and that she was getting it fairly often. Her friend responds thus:

“oohh, heart-burn, they say that means your baby will have a load of hair! No bald babies for Bin & Bobby.”

My response to this statement is…eh? Seriously….. eh??

I really don’t get the relationship. I mean, I was a hairy baby — as Robin was so kind to point out to her friend… on Facebook. As a matter of fact, my mother had me convinced until I was eight years old that I was born covered with thick hair — covered everywhere, that is, except for a bald patch on my chest in the shape of an M… for Monkey. Yeah yeah, laugh it up… Anyway, all that hair fell out. And apparently continued to fall out — have you seen my pictures from the last couple years? I can still grow the stuff, but let’s be honest shall we? I am just glad my mother was dilligent in turning me when I was a baby. I have a nice round head that looks good shaven.

But I digress…

The point of this ramble is this: What could heartburn in the mother possilbly have to do with the amount of hair on the the baby — the kind that falls out quickly or otherwise? Isn’t that stuff handled by genetics? I am pretty sure it is… And I believe in magic and unicorns and such. Oh, and dragons. Lots of dragons…

I did some research, and myths such as this one abound. There are tons of them — with multiple variations that often contradict each other and vary by the teller. Most are surrounding the preeminent mystery that is the sex of the baby. The conclusion of my research? Well, I think that people just think they are fun and want to be involved. I can’t blame them. The whole thing is one of life’s great mysteries. It’s nutty! I did have one major epiphany though:

Regarding the sex of the baby…

I think there’s a 50-50 chance.

Anyhoo, read and you will find a small list of some of the different myths I have come across, with the obligatory commentary by me, of course — you didn’t think I would pass up a chance to voice my opinion, did you?

(http://www.pregnancy-info.net/wives_tales_and_myths.html - this is one of the many sites I looked at, and one of the most comprehensive. The info below comes from them.)

Carrying High, Carrying Low
The way you are carrying during your pregnancy is one of the most oft cited ways of determining the sex of your baby. The general story goes that, if you’re carrying low, you’re having a boy. If you are carrying high, then you must be having a girl. Science says “NO, NO, NO!” to this: the way you carry is determined by muscle and uterine tone as well as the position of your baby. But who’s to say that boys don’t like being lower in their mom’s stomach while girls prefer a view from the top?

(I almost buy this one. It’s up there with boys being made of snails and puppy dog tails…)

What Your Urine Says
This next test to determine a baby’s sex may not be for everyone, although it is very simple. Just take a sample of your urine and mix it with Drano. Depending on the color change of your urine, you will have a boy or a girl. Unfortunately, there is no consensus on what color equals which sex. So, if you do decided to try this and your urine turns bluish yellow, brownish, brown, black or blue you will be having a boy. If your urine looks more greenish brown, green, blue or doesn’t change at all, then you’re having a girl. But be warned: if you decide to do this test, there could be some pretty harsh fumes produced - not to mention the possibility of an explosion!

(Ok… my opinion of this is WTF?)

Heartbeats
One belief that has been around for some time, and even had some acceptance in the medical community at one point, is that the fetal heartbeat differs for boys and girls. If you’re having a girl, then the fetal heart rate will be above 140. A boy will have a heart rate below 140. However, that pesky science has reared its little head again to say that this is complete fiction. A baby’s heart rate is not affected by its sex until it is born, when a girl’s heart rate will increase considerably compared with boys during labor.

(Well, if this one wasn’t proven wrong, we would -definitely- be having a girl…)

Craving Something…Sweet?
Many people believe that your cravings are caused by the sex of your baby. So, if you can’t get enough chocolate, you could be having a girl. Does the idea of drinking straight lemon juice sound delicious to you? Then those sour cravings are a result of the little boy inside of you. However, if you go by the scientists, then some of them will claim that you’re not even having cravings because cravings just don’t exist.

(Cravings don’t exist??? Now -that-, you science freaks, is a load of crap! I have -seeeen- the terrible call of the craving! I know it’s might! It successfully sends me to the store when I am relaxing!! You are -insane- science freaks!!! INSANE I TELL YOU!!!! — and Robin has been craving chocolate lately…)

Weight Gain
Thankfully, this one doesn’t refer to your weight gain. The belief is that, if your husband puts on weight during your pregnancy, then you will be having a girl. If he doesn’t put on a pound, then you’re carrying a boy.

(Well, so far, all signs were pointing girl — until now. Robin is convinced, in fact, that I have been -losing- weight. Figure that out! ooooooooooooooo… )

Is Her Face Round and Full?
Some say that the shape and fullness of your face during pregnancy can indicate your baby’s sex. Every woman gains weight differently during pregnancy, and every woman experiences different skin changes. If people tell you that because your face is round and rosy you are having a girl, they might be right - but it’s just as likely that they are wrong!

(A friend of ours gained a fair amount in the face — definitely rounder — and she just had an untrasound that proves it is a boy. One more point for ambiguity!)

At-Home Tests

Here’s a test that you can do next time you change or get out of the bath. Look in the mirror at your breasts. If the right one is larger, you’re having a boy! A larger left breast indicates a girl (if they’re the same size, does that mean you’re having one of each?). (*blinks*)

Hold a pendant over your hand. If the necklace swings back and forth, you’re having a boy. If it is more of a circular motion, then it’s a girl. This can also be done by suspending a ring on a string above your belly. (This one sounds… neat. Like dousing for water or something. I won’t count it out…)

Do you have acne? Some believe that getting acne during your pregnancy indicates you’re carrying a girl. Maybe the acne is caused by twice the amount of female hormones? (What do think Robin? Girl, again?)

Pick up a key. If you’ve picked it up by the thinner end, you’re having a girl. Picking it up by the bottom, rounder part means a boy is on the way. Did you pick it up by the middle? Then congratulations! You’re having twins! (Ok, this one just seems random…)

Ask yourself what you think you’re having. In a study that asked women with no previous knowledge about their baby’s sex, the moms-to-be correctly guessed the sex of their baby 71% of the time. (Robin seems confused by this one — she’s had dreams of both. Sometimes she leans one way, then the other. What’s your gut (*chuckles*) say, baby?)

Other Pregnancy Beliefs (Ok, I’m just going to blink at these ones… *blinks*)

If you hold your arms above your head, your baby’s umbilical cord will get wrapped around its head and choke it. This myth may have a spiritual basis or it may have been a way to keep women from doing anything when they were pregnant (perhaps the myth was created by an overworked mother?). However, if your baby gets caught up in its umbilical cord (which happens in about a 1/3 of births) it is because your baby was very fidgety inside of you and moved around a lot, not because of you.

Similar to this is the belief in Hawaiian tradition that pregnant women should not wear leis. This folktale believed that wearing a lei would cause the umbilical cord to wrap around the baby’s head and choke it. Nowadays, most people recognize that this folktale is a little over-the-top.

A pregnant woman should not take baths. This myth is routed in the belief that water can get into the vagina and thereby introduce bacteria to the baby. Scientists have proven that water does not enter a woman’s vagina during a bath. In fact, baths will probably help pregnant women feel better by helping them relax.

Can You Determine the Sex of Your Baby Before it is Even Conceived? (Personally, I find this a bit silly — I think people put much to much importance on having one or the other. Yes, I know there are cultural dealies involved, but honestly, people should just be happy with whatever little miracle they are blessed with.)

There are old wives tales that dictate what you should do to increase your chances of conceiving a girl or a boy, depending on what you want. And modern science is even getting itself involved in this one. There are books that will tell you the best time during your ovulation cycle to conceive a girl or a boy. As mentioned above, people are turning to popular books such as How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby. There are also kits that come with charts, thermometers and vitamins to help create the “ideal” environment to produce a particular sex.

And then there are older methods based in Chinese lore that are said to aid in the sex selection. If you are really determined to have a girl or a boy, you can even have a scientist create the correct sexed zygote to implant inside of you. With the exception of the scientist who manipulates your fertilized egg, none of these methods can definitely determine the sex of your baby.

However, the Chinese birth chart is a very popular calendar used by many women not only to increase their changes of conceiving a girl or boy, but also to predict the sex of baby who is already conceived. This is so popular, in fact, that you can now load a Chinese birth chart onto your palm pilot with Heybaby software. This fun application also comes with an extensive list of old wives tales that you’re sure to find entertaining.

Well, there you have it folks… make of them what you will. Me? I’m just going to have some fun with the anticipation of it all!

Braxton Hicks is the harbinger of a New Age...

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Wed, 12 Mar 2008 12:19:00 -0600

According to About.com, a Braxton Hicks Contraction

is defined by Taber’s Medical dictionary as an intermittent, painless contraction that may occur every 10 to 20 minutes after the first trimester of pregnancy.

I read this to my wife, and I have to say, the look that crossed her face at the word “painless” was, to be mild, somewhat less than amused. She had her first major one the other day. She’s probably been having them for a while, as she has mentioned previously that she has felt odd tightening sensations across her belly. This one, though, lasted a good couple minutes and made her feel like her stomach was attempting to tie itself in a giant knot. That was just uncomfortable… and a little frightening… but then it squeezed hard enough that her back got mad.

This is a definite recipe for unhappy pregnant lady.

It didn’t improve her mood on the subject when she found out what it was… She was relieved, sure, because it was normal, but then she considered that this was a “practice” contraction. False labour. Not nearly or even remotely as ouchie as the real thing. It probably didn’t help that, when we mentioned it to my little sister, my sister told a story about her best friend getting her first real contraction in the hospital and promptly getting up off the bed and trying to walk out the door saying “Nope. Forget it. I’m not doing this!”

Robin is starting to get worried.

She admitted to me the other day that she has been putting off researching breathing techniques and even post labour things because it makes the concept of labour too much of a reality. I can’t say as I blame her. I can’t even fathom it as a man. Sooooooo much respect for women. I am no wuss, or at least I like to think so… but even a smidgeon of what you ladies go through would send me running for the hills. I’ve had scary enough experiences with constip — wait wait wait….

That was almost a very man-like comment, wasn’t it?

Good save, Bobby.

What I’m really trying to say here is that all I can really do is remind her that she is built for this — so she can do it.

She suffers such attempts at support with grace and poise, I must say.

The unfortunate reality of it is that she has no choice… so she better start preparing now. She gets that. She just doesn’t like it. She’s been reading a book on what is called “Hypnobirthing” which, as I understand it, uses visualization to convince the body that the experience of giving birth is an awesome and beautiful thing — that is pain-free. Now people may scoff, but I can get down with this. The concept is supported in other aspects in many easturn philosophies and even by modern training to counteract torture. The mind is a powerful thing — and humans are naturally good at self-delusion… Can’t call me cynical. Seriously, with the proper dedication, I think it could work. The woman who wrote it has had seven kids — seven!!! — and seemingly had a great time having them all. I hope some of that rubs off on Robin.

Have any of you looked at the counter on the right side of the page on this blog? If not, take a look now… 54 days till the big day.

54!!!

What the hell??? How did that happen?????

And Robin says that, after 32 weeks, the baby is viable to come out kickin’! Know what Sunday was folks?

Can you guess?

Ohhh yeah. 32 freakin’ weeks.

That means that all bets are off. The research that isn’t done needs to be. The questions that aren’t answered need… answers! The world is about two hairs shy of turning completely upside down and inside out!!!

Braxton Hicks is the harbinger of a new age.

Wow.

Bureaucracy can bite my ass

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:05:15 -0600

So we went to a different doctor — the day after the last post, as a matter of fact — and got pretty much what I expected. Robin may have bronchitis, but her body is doing ok at fighting it off — and if it comes back, they would prescribe penicillin. Penicillin! The antibiotic that is pretty much safe for anyone to take (unless they are allergic). That’s what the research and the doctors and pharmacists tell me, anyway. The new doctor also reccomended against taking the other pill.

Still no word on why the one that was not proven safe was the first doctor’s first choice.

We are not going to that doctor again.

It was good to get that cleared up and all that — but Robin is still sick. And now so am I… sigh Just a cold for us both now, though — or at least something that resembles a cold and has the added effect of leaving us reeeeaaaaallly tirrrrreeeddddd. Robin is not well enough, according to her OBGYN, that she should stay at home for at least the rest of the week.

Ohhh did that throw a monkeywrench into her plans.

The pregnant lady is not happy.

It goes beyond the sickness, though. Staying home for a week messes up her whole maternity leave plan. She was planning on getting a few days vacation at the end of this week, working next week, then taking the rest of her vacation until her mat leave kicks in. Being off this week means she can’t work the one day before her vacation that is required for her to actually qualify for it — why they do that, I don’t know, but it is a real pain in the pregnant lady’s ass. Not friendly to the pocketbook, either, since her sick time is used up. There was some talk being bandied about regarding medical EI (employment insurance), but that is just another bear altogether. Everyone knows the government is happy to take that money off of your paycheque — but they are loathe to give it back.

It’s like pulling teeth for them.

With pliers.

And no beer…

You can all rest assured that my kid will have a better dentist than me.

Anyway, this sickness is attempting to smash the plan, which will, in turn, try to dance away with the pocketbook. So Robin and I are attempting to discovewr and weigh our options — which includes the obligatory bureaucratic dance and much digging through union and government policies with glazed and sick eyes.

Fun, no?

We are also going to go back to the doctor and find out, once and for all, whether it is better for Robin to just go on leave now, rather than wait for another month as she was originally planning.

Ahh the wonderful details of pregnancy….

Don’t they just make you smile.

And if this post barely makes sense… I don’t care.

I’m sick.

Common sense is not that common

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Sun, 24 Feb 2008 15:56:35 -0700

Today was a good day. Robin and I slept in a bit — 9:30am constitutes sleeping in these days… and I expect that to onlyt get worse — then we went swimming. We have been trying to go swimming for the entire length of the pregnancy, for both fun and pre-natal exercise, but were just unable to get it together. We fixed that today. It was a lot of fun, there was a little kid’s birthday party going on and the little kids were, to put it mildy, freakin’ adorable. Not very well supervised, though. I actually had to help two kids (on separate occasions, mind you) to get out of deep water and back to the bulk of the party. They were both wearing life jackets but were sadly lacking in propulsion capability. One boy commissioned my help with a semi-shouted "Hey you, I need a little help here!" while the other looked so lost and forlorn that it was almost funny. Pitiful, but funny. Neither boy was more than 7, and was very likely not even that old — and here I am, a 32 year old man, half-naked in a pool and towing around these kids I don’t even know — and no one says a word. I was a little horrified at that. shrugs But what to do? I mentioned it to the life guard.

Now, while this is related to the title, it is not the point of this writing…
On the way out of the aquatic centre, Robin and I picked up yesterday’s paper. The reason for this was the huge front page picture of a pregnant belly with this cute little 3-4 year old girl giving it a kiss. Waaaay too cute, and obviously going to catch our attention. If not us, then who?? The title of the article was "Bringing Up Baby?" with a subtitle "Spanking, C-sections’ midwives: We check up on the latest research." Again, if not us……?

So we read all of these articles — there was a whole slew of them too — and could only reach one real conclusion: That these people have put wayyyyyyyyy too much money into proving what can only be described as common sense. That’s if they actually proved anything definitively in the first place. th writer of the articles compared different studies on the same things quite often, which often had conflicting results. It reminded me of my psychology classes back in college — a year or so of education in the different theories of hwo the human mind works and how to fix it when it breaks… which was really a year or so of learning that each accepted theory was in many ways the opposite of the others and that no one really knew anything at all. You pretty much have to take what you like out of each one and run with it. This is often my opinion on organised religion, too — but that’s a whole ‘nother ‘nother isn’t it?

So back to the matter at hand here. The article on daycare talked about a study that asked if daycare is good or bad for children. The study seemed to indicate that the child in daycare was apt to be marginally more developed mentally and marginally more of a little bad ass. They site many possible reasons for both, like a good daycare will have caregivers that are trained in child development and the child may be generally more challenged and partake more in conversation and reading activities in dayare and therefor may be more likely to have a better memory and/or a more developed vocabulary than those who don’t go. Marginally. Reasons for the bad-ass increase is more independence and less direct supervision when in an environment of multiple children and few adults. Not to mention picking up bad habits from other kids.

Ok. I’ll buy that.

I could even guess all that for myself.

Without spending $200-million dollars.

…

The article on caesarean section and whether it is more dangerous than vaginal birth left me with the same impression. It is… of course! They are cutting the woman open! This can lead to infection and scarring and a possible hysterectomy later. Not necessarily, as it is still a relatively safe procedure, but it is defintely a possibility. Some women like to do it just because and not because it needs to be done. According to this study it is somewhat more likely to cause complications after the fact. Due to the fact that they are cutting the woman open it seems fairly obvious that complications could occur.

I got the same impression from studies on midwife vs doctor and home vs hospital births. They spent a whole lot of money to conclusively figure out that, if midwives are educated and regulated in their field, just like nurses and doctors are, and if pregnancies are screened to establish the possibility of complications occuring, home births and midwife-assisted hospital births are just as safe as your more common doctor assisted hospital births. With the mid-wife assisted births, both home and hospital, the woman was also less likely to get drugged or cut. This also seems obvious as mid-wives are not doctors and are therefore not going to do surgery or push pills on you. Doctors, on the other hand, are generally in a hurry to get things overwith and look for the quickest established medical way to get things done — from my own observation, anyway.

If anyone is wondering, no we are not using a midwife. Robin’s comfort is all that matters, and she wants o do the birth in what has become the traditional way. She is also very adamant that she will not be cut or drugged unless there is no other way. And for you ladies who are reading this and men who understand — she would also rather tear than be cut (episiotomy), because it is less likely to cause complications and more likely to heal properly. We looked into it, though and know a few people who have done it and had wonderful experiences.

The article on spanking was by far the most interesting and quoted three studies, one of which said spanking as a last resort (no more than two smacks on the bottom!) was actually a pretty good way to get things done, while the other two said NO!!!! Spanking is bad!!! One went so far as to say that spanking a kid is linked to more agressive and probably criminal behaviour, and also reduces self-esteem. Somehow in there there was also mention that, while linked, it is not necessarily all bad because most adults were spanked and the majority of us turned out fine.

Yeah. I know it seems like a contradiction. shrugs

It was also pretty apparent that these studies had a difficult time distinguishing a whack on the butt from a slap on the face or beating a kid bloody. In any case, I personally believe that, while hitting a kid is generally bad, a whack on the but or even a gentle tap on the hand is a good way to educate the kid in the concept of consequences for an action. For example — and read on before you crazy wingers start bashing me — if a child is doing something that he/she should not and will not stop when you have tried to explain that it is not acceptable behaviour and why, and all other means have failed (time outs, etc), then I think it is good to let the child know that if he/she keeps it up then he/she will get a spanking. And when the child decides to keep going ahead with said bad behaviour — and this is the most important part — he/she gets a count and, finally, a follow through on the spanking.

And by spanking, I mean a decent whack on the bum relative to the kid’s size. Honestly, it doesn’t even have to hurt. It is really a psychological thing. I know of more than one parent who will tell the kid "You were warned. Now come over here and hold out your hand…" And when the kid — already crying before he/she even gets to his/her parent — gets there, the parnet only gives a tap on the palm or back of the hand. The child then proceeds to wail as if mortally wounded and also understands that he/she has gone too far and that it must now observe the consequences.

Basically, I think that yes, beating — whipping, punching, slapping, kicking, hitting too hard, shaking and other things with intent to harm or lack of control — is bad. And yes, it is obvious that that sort of thing will lead to lower self-esteem and likely more bad behaviour. I can see how it could lead to more aggressive and even criminal behaviour, especially if suffered throughout the childhood. But spanking, when used properly with reasoning and engaging the child in figuring out why what he/she did was not acceptable — and really as a last resort — is a useful and effective tool in parenting.

It can’t be all bad, as it has been used since the beginning of time — it even has its counterparts in the animal kingdom. It simply requires good judgement as to when, where and how much is appropriate. And it should be a last resort, so that it is less likely to become necessary. Just because you don’t spank your kid doesn’t make you a good parent either… there are wayyyyy too many punk ass little potential criminals running around walking all over their parents because they know their parents won’t do anything about it.

Judgement.

Common sense.

But, as a favourite prof of mine used to say…

"Common sense is not that common."

Half way there!!!

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 10:08:00 -0700

We have reached 20 weeks folks!!!

Apparently, this is the halfway point. I have been informed that this whole "9months" thing is a fairy tale. A baby is actually carried for 40 weeks — 10 months. After you hit 35 though — or somewhere in and around there — all bets are off. That kid could pop out at any given time!

*considers*

I suppose the term "all bets are off" notexactly true, either… pools on when the baby will decide to show its pretty face to the world are still open for a little while longer. Apparently, people do do this… there was mention of it at my work.

People will gamble on anything.

Anyway… 20 weeks. Time to get edumacational!!!

According to BabyCenter, the baby is now around 10 and a half ounces and approximately the shape of a banana — no… that’s not right… — approximately the length of a banana from the tip-top of the head to that cute little baby bum.

From head to heel, you’re lookin’ at about 10 inches.

Add a couple more if the baby starts striking poses with its hands over its head — which ours is wont to do… That’s a whole lotta baby right there!

Now here is where things get gross…

Baby now has a greasy white substance coating the entire body. The mental image here produces a bit of an ick factor — but this stuff (more professionally known as "vernix caseosa" — but I’ll stick with "stuff") is pretty important. It is to protect the baby’s skin while it is hanging out in the luxurious heated pool of life (amniotic fluid — I am enjoying the cheesy metaphors today… sue me). This is a good thing. No baby wants to be seen for the first time with dish-pan hands… ruins the cute factor!

This stuff is also practical during the birth as it makes the trip out a little easier with all of the slickness and whatnot.

The baby is also swallowing — for practice. Getting that digestive system warmed up. Cute, no? Now back to icky…

Meconium. Black stickyness that comes from cell loss, digestive secretions (yummy) and swallowed amniotic fluid. This is accumulating in the baby — and will be one of the kiddie’s first presents to the parents. Yup, you guessed it, sticky blackness in the first dirty diaper — I will do my best to remember not to freak out. Apparently some babies get rid of it during the delivery process.

Something to look forward to…