holy crap, I'm pregnant! - The Sickness...

Pregnancy is beautiful... really!!

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Tue, 15 Apr 2008 11:24:51 -0600

If I sound like I’m trying to convince myself, it’s because, sometimes, I really am. Yes pregnancy and the creation of a new life is a beautiful and wonderous thing. A glowing pregnant lady can be cute, pretty, sexy, all of those things. It’s the… other stuff… the…… byproducts, if you will, of this miracle that are, well… disgusting.

And it only gets worse as the pregnancy goes on.

In the beginning, it’s just gas. And puke, if you are one of the unlucky ones to get “morning” sickness. Then there’s more gas. Vaginal discharge. And more gas… And more — well, let’s just say that the gas never stops. It just keeps surfacing in weird and wonderful ways. It is, at the very least, an endless source of entertainment. For all you guys out there who have girls that like to pretend that there body is above gas and therefore they do not fart like us lowly men, well… get ‘em pregnant. Then fart jokes may once again, abound. But watch yourselves, fellows!!! Mood swings while pregnant are nothing to shake a stick at. You don’t want an angry pregnant woman chasing you down the street! She will catch you… eventually. Remember! They sleep less and less as it goes on — and they “sleep” right beside you…

But I digress…

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Bureaucracy can bite my ass

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Tue, 11 Mar 2008 15:05:15 -0600

So we went to a different doctor — the day after the last post, as a matter of fact — and got pretty much what I expected. Robin may have bronchitis, but her body is doing ok at fighting it off — and if it comes back, they would prescribe penicillin. Penicillin! The antibiotic that is pretty much safe for anyone to take (unless they are allergic). That’s what the research and the doctors and pharmacists tell me, anyway. The new doctor also reccomended against taking the other pill.

Still no word on why the one that was not proven safe was the first doctor’s first choice.

We are not going to that doctor again.

It was good to get that cleared up and all that — but Robin is still sick. And now so am I… sigh Just a cold for us both now, though — or at least something that resembles a cold and has the added effect of leaving us reeeeaaaaallly tirrrrreeeddddd. Robin is not well enough, according to her OBGYN, that she should stay at home for at least the rest of the week.

Ohhh did that throw a monkeywrench into her plans.

The pregnant lady is not happy.

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The Sickness Returns!!!! ...again!

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Wed, 05 Mar 2008 14:59:08 -0700

Just when you think it’s safe to get back in the water…

Just when the world seems like it makes sense…

Just when you feel the need for stupid cliches has passed………

You were wrong.

Yep, you guessed it folks — and even if you didn’t, I’m going to tell you anyway — the (near) blissful (almost) comfort of the past several months (relative to the horror of the first trimester) has come to a sudden and really yucky halt. The Sickness has returned!!! …again!

It has changed form, certainly — but it is back nonetheless. And it is torturing poor Robin with the vengeance of one that has been too long denied.

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My new job is a den of disease...

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Sun, 18 Nov 2007 10:23:17 -0700

I mean it.

Exactly what the title says.

sniffs

I was there wipes nose for 4 days sniffs and caught whatever strain of flu/cold is jumping gleefully SNIFFS from person to person there.

Hold on a sec…

blows nose

Much better!

pauses to recollect… and then sniffs again

sigh

I worked really hard to keep it from me, too. I think I washed my hand more this past week than I have in the past year — but people are dropping like flies over there!!! I hate being sick. Honestly, though, I was (and am) more worried about bringing it home. Robin is just starting to feel better!

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Rapid growth and rapid improvement -- 2nd trimester in full swing!

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Fri, 16 Nov 2007 08:43:50 -0700

A quick update before work…

You know when you are around someone all the time and they are getting bigger — height-wise, girth-wise, it doesn’t matter — and because you are around them constantly, you really don’t notice the change? Well then, imagine what it means that I noticed last night that Robin has gained at least 2 to 3 inches allllllll around her belly area.

In all belly directions.

In 2 days…. O.o

She’s getting freaking huge!!!

Not as huge as she will be though — and she makes it look so…. cute!

This all went down at her birthday dinner last night. A dinner which culminated in me rubbing her belly and noticing a definite — not definate you rotten internet spellers! shakes fist — change in firmness and her telling me that she has felt more energetic the last few days than she has in months. Oh yeah… she also told me that, in the last few days, she hasn’t wanted to throw up every time she brushed her teeth.

This is a good sign.

Truly.

All hail the second trimester!!!

I am so happy for her!

The Sickness -- Part II

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Sat, 03 Nov 2007 22:16:38 -0600

continued from: The Sickness — morning, evening, night… pick one — Part One

So you might think that, being nearly 14 weeks along, the sickness would have abated by now…

You would be wrong.

Well, that’s not entirely true. I was just being dramatic. It has lessened — but it continues to haunt my poor wife’s life.

And mine.

Picture this, if you will: Robin is humming along, having a good day; her appetite is good (understatment), her mood is steady (…), and her vertigo has been gone for a while and shows no signs of coming back. She’s feeling pretty good about the whole being pregnant thing.

Then it happens…

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The Sickness -- morning, evening, night... pick one -- Part One

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Sun, 21 Oct 2007 22:51:54 -0600

It wasn’t long after we were sure we were pregnant that Robin got hit with The Sickness. Morning Sickness, they call it, but that is one of those big societal lies, like the tooth fairy, the easter bunny, or lowered taxes. It can come at you in the morning, the evening, 3am, 12 o’clock, or whatever time you would find most inconvenient. Sometimes it lasts all day and even all night long. No one actually knows what causes it. Some say it is the increase of estrogen and progesterone levels, some say it is the new sensitivity to smells, some say excess stomach acids, and still others say it is the hCG (human chorionic gonadotropin) in the poor lady’s body that keeps increasing until about the 12th week or so — which, as a matter of fact, happens to be the time that most pregnant women start to feel better.

But not all!!

Oh no!

Robin’s mother was sick for the entire pregnancy… for all 4 kids. Needless to say, Robin is hoping to follow her sister (also a mother of 4) and… not be sick for the entire pregnancy. So far, well, the jury’s out on that one.

So, what are all these big words I keep bandying about? Human chori-whatsis? Progesticulate? Estro… well, most of us know what estrogen is. Just so you can be sure I am not trying to sound smart, and to allay any cynical thoughts that I am not the caring and inquisitive husband I am making myself out to be, I shall endeavour to show just you how SMRT I really am…
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