Ohhhhh I'm back baby!!

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Sun, 20 Jan 2008 13:41:53 -0700

Iiiiii’m BACK! And I’m ringin’ the bell. I’m rockin’ on the mic while the fly girls…

Wait a minute…

Those are Vanilla Ice lyrics.

Don’t ask me how I know them — because I won’t tell you…

Anyway… for those of you who have been anxiously waiting for me to start writing again after the shenanigans that are the holidays and going back to work, I’m here to tell you:

Robin is HUGE.

And this was a couple weeks ago…

Ohhhh you guessed it. We are 25 weeks along today, that baby is doing backflips, acrobatics AND martial arts — and Robin can’t see her feet. Not without effort, anyway. That dark line that some pregnant ladies get down their bellies (linea negra) has, at the belly button and below, become almost 3/4’s of an inch wide — and the belly button itself, well, that sucker is set to turn inside out any day now! I wonder, sometimes, about women who already have an outie… does it get bigger? shrugs Random thought.

Robin is also starting to get stretchmarks… she wasn’t happy about the idea at first — but now she thinks they are kind of pretty. I like them. They are interesting little maps or lightning bolts if you have any degree of imagination. Oh, and ladies, for those of you who are now saying that you will make sure you never get stretchmarks, that you will bathe in cocoa butter if you have to… sorry. You are out of luck. Some women get ‘em, some don’t — most do. To keep them from

This is today — and no, those aren’t stretchmarks. She just woke up… She’s not that pale either… bad lighting.

sticking around afterward, as I have been informed, cocoa butter is good, as it helps keep the skin in good shape, but there is one super-important thing you must remember above all else…

Don’t scratch.

Yep. That’s it. I don’t know what you want from me — this isn’t the cure for cancer I am offering here.

Other important things of note hat have happened this past month are as follows — and in no particular order:

-Our friend Crystal has had her little baby boy. Took about 10 minutes and 3 pushes. Her husband almost missed it while parking the car. If only Robin will be so lucky… Cute kid though. Looked like a wrinkly little gnome.

-Robin’s good friend and co-worker has announce that she is pregnant. this is exciting as this is the same friend that got married a week after us — and our baby now has two friends — and maybe even a future date — by default. We don’t know the sex of our baby or theirs — so date may not be in the cards. I’m open minded though. It’s a whole new millennium after all. As long as the kid’s happy, right?

-I felt the baby move for the first time a few weeks back. Robin had begun to feel it a little bit, but I had been denied repeatedly. I casually draped my arm over Robin one morning, half asleep, and there it was! Woke me right up! I was so excited, it was all I could talk about for 3 days! Now, we can actually see the little bulges sometimes!!! :D — And the little punk has already kicked me in the ass once while Robin was cuddling me from behind. This is how I know the kid is going to be just like me — and just like his/her mother. She is a punk too.

-Robin and I almost moved. We were hell bent on getting a better place, somethig we could settle into for a long time. then we worked out the budget and realised that, sticking to that budget, but staying where we are and keeping the difference in rent for six months — saved us more than $4000.00. We will be staying where we are until at least July. Well, that is provided that the people upstairs don’t piss us off so much with their 3am inconsiderate noise making that we don’t… move. To say anything else would be potentially incriminating. And for those who take things to seriously…. that was a JOKE.

-I had a few minor panic attacks regarding my job. I like it. I like the money it brings in. I don’t lke this 3 month probation period thing where they can let you go without cause or explanation or recompense. That is almost over. Things seem to be going well. But you never truly know until the fat lady, as they say, sings. No I am not talking about Robin. She is the Pregnant Lady. She is a sexy goddess and don’t any of you forget it!

Perhaps one of the most interesting, and definitely one of the most recent, developments, is that Robin has now entered the nesting stage. Ohhh has she!!! She is intent on overhauling the entire house. Just the other day, she did something like 500 loads of laundry. I’m serious!! She washed nearly everything we own, dirty or not. I think she as just waiting for me to come home so she could wash the clothes off my back! It’s actually kind of funny, but I worry about her overworking herself.

Heh… the other day, she picked me up from the train after I got off of work… I opened the door to the car, and there is Robin, in the driver’s seat, cleaning wipe in hand, scrubbing away happily. I look at her a moment and say "Hi baby, how’re you doing?" She responds gleefully: "Hi Baby! I’m cleaning!!!" It may have been a "had to be there" moment, but I couldn’t even get into the car for a good 2-3 minutes beacuse I was laughing so hard.

That’s all for today folks! I will be back soon, at least weekly, maybe more, so stay tuned for tales of Robin’s voracious hunger and the kung fu baby that will soon start to double in size every week!!!

Oh yes, and Robin is still carrying high, for those of you who are interested in that sort of thing and whatever it may mean. She looks like she is almost 7 months along… but she isn’t…

Half way there!!!

nospam@example.com (Bobby) — Mon, 17 Dec 2007 10:08:00 -0700

We have reached 20 weeks folks!!!

Apparently, this is the halfway point. I have been informed that this whole "9months" thing is a fairy tale. A baby is actually carried for 40 weeks — 10 months. After you hit 35 though — or somewhere in and around there — all bets are off. That kid could pop out at any given time!

*considers*

I suppose the term "all bets are off" notexactly true, either… pools on when the baby will decide to show its pretty face to the world are still open for a little while longer. Apparently, people do do this… there was mention of it at my work.

People will gamble on anything.

Anyway… 20 weeks. Time to get edumacational!!!

According to BabyCenter, the baby is now around 10 and a half ounces and approximately the shape of a banana — no… that’s not right… — approximately the length of a banana from the tip-top of the head to that cute little baby bum.

From head to heel, you’re lookin’ at about 10 inches.

Add a couple more if the baby starts striking poses with its hands over its head — which ours is wont to do… That’s a whole lotta baby right there!

Now here is where things get gross…

Baby now has a greasy white substance coating the entire body. The mental image here produces a bit of an ick factor — but this stuff (more professionally known as "vernix caseosa" — but I’ll stick with "stuff") is pretty important. It is to protect the baby’s skin while it is hanging out in the luxurious heated pool of life (amniotic fluid — I am enjoying the cheesy metaphors today… sue me). This is a good thing. No baby wants to be seen for the first time with dish-pan hands… ruins the cute factor!

This stuff is also practical during the birth as it makes the trip out a little easier with all of the slickness and whatnot.

The baby is also swallowing — for practice. Getting that digestive system warmed up. Cute, no? Now back to icky…

Meconium. Black stickyness that comes from cell loss, digestive secretions (yummy) and swallowed amniotic fluid. This is accumulating in the baby — and will be one of the kiddie’s first presents to the parents. Yup, you guessed it, sticky blackness in the first dirty diaper — I will do my best to remember not to freak out. Apparently some babies get rid of it during the delivery process.

Something to look forward to…

holy crap, I'm pregnant! (Entries tagged as halfway point)

Ohhhhh I'm back baby!!

Half way there!!!